150120 –
Resilience, is something that i hold Very dear to Heart.
it is what drives me, carries me and it is my inner strength.
knowing that i can take a blow and come out the other side unsheltered.
Unscaved, and with a smile, It may be upside down, but hay, at least its a smile (=
(Unfortunately at Times it seams that my ability of water on a ducks back means that sometimes people will take an extra step, to make a point, y do we seek such reactions)
This weekend seems to have really taken a toll on me, i feel unstable and uneasy.
I had Big Ambitions (nothing new there) for this weekend passed, but it was to crumble as the event I was going to see my Fav Canadian Artists The Funk Hunters
was halted to a stop as the festival i was going to be filming them at was shut down.
never fear, a new plan is on the way, reroute the traffic, around the block aid, no thats not going to work,
ok, send them to the new event, ok cool, now take things to car.
Suddenly I realise my car has been gone threw, searched for money and belongings, Luckily only an FM trasnmitter and The First Cap I ever bought myself and then the 2nd cap where only taken, no time to deal with it now, i get my things and head off, following my google maps i miss the turn off and head to the end of the road (a good 30 mins there – and back to find the correct turn off) to pass a police car to think to myself, “oh now what”, Luckily they just passed us by. finally arriving at “Lost in Wonderland” your faced with a Massive Hill, LIKE ACTUALLY! MASSIVE! a good 10-15 min walk (not Carrying anything)
apon arriving at the top of this big hill you walked out to what was a house back yard on the top of a hill with a couple of Domes and lights and projectors, not bad for a birthday party, happy birthday btw (=
I walked threw the dance floor to get a shot to set the scene, and immediately bumped into the only other person I knew there,
yes a crush, she smiled said hi and ran off so fast that i even wasn’t sure if i had said hello to the right person, as I had only met her at the last event and spent since then getting to know her via Facebook, as i seem to have gone shy in life situations and prefer the written. i finish my shot and walk over and sat down
I was exhausted, drained and Tied, felt let down, let down that even in my own driveway, someone could go through my car, i guess even violated could be used. I feel asleep and had a short nap, waking to a sharp fireworks bang and startled,
i decide to go back to sleep until fire twirling begins, usually i would get up and jump at the chance to capture such beautiful twirlship, but for once, i just laid there and enjoyed (after about 5 mins of amazing twirling i couldn’t help myself and got the cam out, but i didn’t move, just laid there and let it film) shortly after a couple came over and passed on the house dog to me, it was nice and good to have some company, shortly after two girls came an sat with me to pat said dog, suddenly I realise just how bad i am at talking to people these days… sigh.
I decide its time to head down and pick up my tent and a couple of another things, down the Mountain I go, I choose wisely and only bring, a couple of things to wear, some Cap Shirts and some bedding, popup Tent and Drinks. chuck in bag and attach to walking stick and throw it over my shoulder an swagger off, when i get to the bottom of the hill there no one there so i decide to go for a quick Skinny, jump in, jump out, suddenly a group of 10 plus two trucks full of people start coming up the hill, Busted, so nothing to do but stroll to my towel and slowly get dressed. lol. a second quicker and i could “maybe” scored a lift up the hill. but no, the walk it is for me so off i go.
Finally I reach the top, set up my Tent and jump into something a bit more comfortable and start relaxing a lil now i have a Homeshell, Guess thats my Cancer coming out, I go and lay down on this scarf like material mum had given me to take festivaling, it was nice, it worked, within sitting a min or two my energy had shifted and i met a wonderful person named Tas, he ran the nursery in Clunes and we had a beautiful lil chat before he headed off to dance again,
The next thing I know its Morning time and I am hanging in a small tentiosk thing and suddenly the girl who i know we has passed me by when i first arrived comes in an lays down in-front of me, is still an then suddenly throws up, i jump up and help get her to the side of the tent stall and hold her hair back, then clean her off and to be able to lay down again, she passes out in my lap, pinned i decide i moss well nap too.
When i wake I’m busting to pee, go an change and get my groove on, the beats are fine an funky and the light brings a beautiful new wave of positiveness. i meet some new friends and enjoy the tunes, I must say i met some wonderful people and had some great moments during the Sunday Funday.
When sleeping beauty awoke it was nice to see she felt better and was ok, she said thank you and was nice, but then that was about it, later on i asked for a second to talk to her, privately to see if she was interested (in general in me, just so if she wasn’t then we could move on) she ignored my invite and so i left the group and went for a nap, when i woke it had finished.
I luckily got a lift from my Tent Site to my Car, then a quick swim/dip and then drove home, to have something to eat only to find that when i left yesterday night my house had been attempted to be broken in, the screen door jimmied and the kitchen window screen taken off, Nothing was taken and they weren’t able to get in, it just made me feel violated again and that perhaps I’m not supposed to be there. but where am i supposed to meet, my favourite girl, someone fun and energetic that will either snuggle an watch movies or sit an do arts an crafts, that will see a silly moment and get up and be silly with me, who will go camping with me and want to start a family, I like being me, I enjoy me, but why do i have to feel so miss understood at times.
Anyway, have a good day
PLJ
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